So I was looking through my old art and I got sad because I like it better than any of the work I did in school so far.

I'm getting ready to go back to college again so I won't submit anything for like 6 months and then I'll put up like 2 things I'm okay with.

I guess I'm just not enjoying the work I'm doing in school. I'm not going to whine and say that I'm not learning ANYTHING and it's all stupid and pointless (even though it feels that way sometimes.) But I feel like I'm not allowed to even go back to that happy art-making place I was in before I went to college. That kind of art is something they've all "seen before" apparently, thereby making it instantly non-unique and therefore worthless to the "art community" that we're all a part of. I don't feel like I've seen it before. I can't say that there aren't artists that are similar in the world but that's okay. If there weren't, we wouldn't be able to expand our interest in art. There would be probably 30 artists ever. Nothing would ever evolve.
Right now the typical artist in my classes at school does weird indie art that looks like a mix of creepy caricature and shitty Adult Swim cartoons. I feel very separate from that crowd at least, which is something I'm proud of. There's nothing unique about that art scene, and it's become disgustingly popular to make "weird cartoons" that make everyone feel uncomfortable (and therefore you should like them, phht.) The buck stops at Flapjack, okay. Flapjack is uncomfortable animation at it's best. Next to Ren and Stimpy and Rocko's Modern Life.

I like to make people laugh.
And think.
And feel good.

I like for people to think about things like the kids they played with when they were little and the weird games you played. I like for people to think about their stuffed animals and action figures.

It's not as if my childhood was this great, glorious thing to me. I just envy the ability to carry around a blanket or a stuffed animal. I wish we could all dress how we wanted without people thinking "Well how strange is that. I wouldn't be caught dead in that! That's out of season! That isn't appropriate!"

Things that make us feel safe or good are called "dependency issues" all too often these days.
Of course, there are boundaries. Just as with everything else, you must have it in moderation. Anyone who NEEDS something to feel alright may have a problem. But snuggling a stuffed animal or the corner of your blanket at night is simple comfort. It feels good to have something soft and snuggly because it's natural to feel comforted by it. Some people become violently embarrassed by that kind of thing.

If I could carry a stuffed animal into the doctor's office every time I need a booster shot or tetanus or whatever, I would feel a lot better about the whole thing. But we have this social expectation to show no fear of being stuck with things and poked and prodded and have essential fluids taken out of our bodies!

It's all just so ridiculous. I'd rather keep my blood INSIDE my body, thanks.